Ask me for permission before touching me, by gently presenting your hand to me (without placing it on my body). If I smell it and lick it or rub it on me, you can try to caress me. Start under the chin, on the cheeks and on the head before going further and observe my reaction.
For the rest of the body, go gradually and carefully, until you know the areas where I appreciate being touched and the areas to avoid; generally, paws and belly contacts are less appreciated.
Short and gentle contacts are to be preferred.
As soon as I ask for distance (grunting, growling) or show signs of annoyance (lowering my ears, whipping my tail quickly turning to your hand, etc.), stop all contact and move away. Observe my body language carefully. Do not react; I simply communicate my need for space. Just like you, I sometimes want interactions and physical affection, and other times I prefer to be alone.
Few cats really appreciate being held in the arms. If this is my case, respect my preferences. It is still common to hear that to get used to being in arms, I have to be taken and held by force. This often results in learning the opposite of what you would like! Instead, you can sit down and try to pull me over with my favorite treats or a toy. We will both find our account there.
Don’t forget, it’s not because I come to you, brush against you or lie on your lap that I necessarily want to be flattered! These behaviors are often mistaken as an invitation to caress myself. I sometimes simply want to be near you!